Affairs of the Heart
by oxtenshixo
Summary: Harry and Hermione go over their thoughts on their affair.
1. Hermione

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

AN: Sorry I haven't updated any of my other stories. I have the worse case of writter's block. Tell me what you think. I'm not sure I like it enough to leave it up.

_Affairs of the Heart_

Chapter 1: Hermione

It happened gradually, like most things do. I won't lie and say that it was out of our control and happened so fast I didn't know where the lines of right and wrong lay.

No, we had known months before our affair started that we would have one. Don't get me wrong, we denied any such feelings for one another, but that didn't stop us from having them.

We each made very grave errors early in life. We married straight out of school thinking that life couldn't be sweeter after Harry killed Lord Voldemort. We had believed, childishly, that we would love forever and with our separate partners.

Our wishes had been unheeded.

Before our affair started Harry had been married to Ginny for ten years and Ron and I had been married for eight years. Our feelings for one another had been gradually growing for the last two.

It took years before we really opened our eyes and saw what was right in front of us.

I had always wondered why I wanted Ron with the intensity that I did when, for all intents and purposes I'm a very level-headed person. I realized far too late that he represented that stability I had needed during the war. He kept me from driving myself crazy.

I needed him.

Unfortunately, I don't need him now. I still love Ron, but not in the way I know he thinks I do. My feelings for him have evolved into a brotherly love that I had once only felt towards Harry.

The way I feel for each of them has seemed to switch places in my mind. Nothing is as it should be and my mind can't logically come up with a reason for it. I've stayed up hours trying to figure out where it all went wrong.

When did I become the type of person I once looked down upon? When did I become an adulterer? All these questions constantly swim through my mind even after all these years.

I've been with Harry for over a year now and I still find myself up late at night wondering when did my life change so drastically.

It took me awhile to come to terms that I did indeed love Harry Potter with every fiber in my being. That I wasn't trying to transfer my feelings to him because I was having trouble with Ron.

There are times that I find myself wondering what it would be like to live my life as Mrs. Potter. I wonder what it would be like if we ran away together.

It is during those moments that I know we'll never be able to be together in every sense. We were damage the lives of so many if we were ever found out.

We are role models to every witch and wizard out there. If anyone knew that war heroes Harry Potter and Hermione Granger-Weasley were cheated on their respective partners to be with one another, let's just say all hell would break loose.

I also could never leave Ron because of our children. We have two very beautiful children and it would put a strain on them if we separated.

And even as I say this I know that I could never leave Harry either. I dally with the idea of ending our affair before someone gets hurt, but I don't have the strength to leave him. I've tried to dozens of times and each time I find myself back in his arms and I can't remember why I wanted to leave them in the first place.

Everything falls back into place the moment I'm back in his arms, but the guilt hangs high over my head as I smile at Ron. As I help my children get ready for Muggle school and tell them how much their father and I love them.

My guilt is strongest when I smile up at Ron from our shared bed and tell him that yes, I love him dearly. Knowing that as I say these words he thinks I mean that I'm in love with him and not that I have love for him.

It eats away at my insides, but even then I'm not strong enough to let go of Harry. He's my addiction and even as my logical side rants at me about how stupid I'm being. My heart melts at the sight of him and I can't wait until our next meeting.

Until the next time I'll be in his arms and he'll make everything better because he always does.

He always knows just what to say that in those moments we're together, even my logical side can't help but melt when he whispers those beautiful words to me,

_I love __**you**_.


	2. Harry

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

AN: Sorry I haven't updated any of my other stories. I have the worse case of writter's block. Tell me what you think. I'm not sure I like it enough to leave it up.

_Affairs of the Heart_

Chapter 2: Harry

I know without a doubt in my mind that I'm deeply in love with my best friend, Hermione. It feels wonderful to be able to say that and not flinch anymore.

Did I also forget to mention she's the wife of my other best mate and the best friend of my wife?

You may be wondering how can I possibly to this to my family? How could I possibly start an affair that would devastate everyone I know and have come to love?

Well don't worry. I've asked myself these questions countless times. It was the reason it took me so long to gather up the nerve to act upon my feelings for Hermione.

I look down into her chocolate brown eyes and I know that everything will be okay. The world can be in utter chaos, but with her by my side I know that everything will turn out for the best. But I guess there's the kicker.

She's not by **my** side. Instead she stands at the side of my other best friend, Ronald Weasley. While I'm married to his sister, Ginevra Potter.

I know I may sound bitter by the prospect, but I'm not. I don't regret marrying Ginny because we created three wonderful children together and I could never regret that. What I do regret, though, was jumping into the marriage business before I had time to think about it.

I had been so happy to finish the world that I was sitting on cloud nine and I thought nothing could go wrong. That life would just fall into place from here because fate had dealt me such a difficult card at such a young age. I figured, childishly, that fate owed me something and he would repay me by making me utterly and blissfully happy.

Boy was I mistaken.

Fate never works in ways we wish and I guess that I, of all people, should have known that from the beginning. Instead of relying on it the way I did.

Initially, I had no intention of getting back with Ginny. I wanted time to myself to recuperate, but when she surprised me in front of all the Weasleys by asking me to be her boyfriend. I believed this to be a sign that this was the first step to my eternally happiness.

The rest, is as they say, history.

I can't say that I've been the best husband, but I can say that I tried my hardest. Even now, I try to make things work with Ginny and I guess to her it does, but there's something missing.

Love.

We just don't feel the same as we once did and she doesn't see it. And I can't bring myself to point it out. We've been denying it for so long that it seems in bad taste to acknowledge it. When we both know that we would never leave one another because of the children.

Neither of us could do that to the children.

But even as I feel that way I also can't find it in my heart to leave Hermione. We've only been together for a little over a year now and she means so much to me. More then she'll ever know and more then I'll ever be able to show her.

Because we can't do things like most normal couples because we're cheating on our respective spouses. Even so I can't buy her beautiful things or place a kiss on her lips anywhere but in the privacy of our secret place.

Nothing is allowed to be displayed because we're doing something that isn't allowed. Even in the wizarding world.

My affair with Hermione may have started out as a way to get away from my loveless marriage, but it's turned into so much more.

I find myself counting down the moments until I can see her again even as I smile at Ginny and tell her that I love her. It's wrong I know, but she erases all my doubts when she smiles at me.

The world disappears when she walks gracefully into my open arms with her eyes shining warmly up at me. She leans in to brush her lips against mine, but she stops a hairs breath away from them and whispers three of my favorite words when they come from her lips

I love you

And then I know that even though we'll never be able to love like everyone else, we'll love each other in a way most people never get to.

We are tied down by our duties of husband, wife, mother, and father, but we'll always find our way back to each other. Those three whispered words are enough to wipe away all my doubts and fears.

They let me know that it's all worth it, if only to have her look at me in her special way.

She's worth everything and more.


	3. Ron

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

AN: Sorry I haven't updated any of my other stories. I have the worse case of writter's block. Tell me what you think. I'm not sure I like it enough to leave it up.

_Affairs of the Heart_

Chapter 3: Ron

I know.

I know what they're doing.

I know that all about Harry and Hermione's affair, but I can't bring myself to stop it.

I can't bring myself to rant and rave even though I know that's what they'll expect I'll do if I ever found out.

Mostly, it's because I know how they feel. I know that Hermione and my relationship has changed. We're no longer two people that are deeply in love with one another. We're two people who care for each other.

Even knowing this though I sometimes want to tell them that it still hurts. I know all our feelings have changed, but at least I've remained loyal. At least I know the meaning of 'til death do us part.

I want to rub it in their faces that they're not as sneaky as they believed. That their subtle looks were anything but subtle.

But mostly, I want to have the courage to tell Ginny. I know out of all of us she's being the wronged the most. None of us are being fair to her. As her brother it's my duty to protect her, but I've made a mess of it. Harry, as her husband has a duty to make her happy and Hermione, as her best friend has the duty to tell her the truth.

We're all wrong.

No matter how I look at it I can't put the blame solely on their shoulders because I have played a big part. I knew what would happen between them.

It was always him.

Even when we were in school and she wanted me it was always him. She always worried about him. Would never talking about him and yet I blinded myself into believing that we could be something.

She blinded herself as well. It was the way it was supposed to be, it was the way everyone assumed that it should be. Harry Potter's sidekicks get married and Harry would fall in love with his best mate's sister. It had been written in the stars.

That should have been the first indication that it was utterly shit. I think we all knew that, but we didn't have the guts to acknowledge it.

We wanted to believe in happily ever after and if Harry and Hermione got married, there wouldn't be a happy ending for the Weasleys. They always did care too much.

I know that I can be a jealous prat and I think that had a lot to do with it. I have a tendency to think Harry gets everything. And that kept Harry from thinking anything but sisterly feelings for Hermione.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not the type to blame myself for **them** cheating. I'm just saying I also can't blame just them.

I don't know if I'll ever man up and yell at them.

I just don't know.

And sometimes when she smiles at me and tells me she loves me too all I want to do is cry. Because **I**know that neither of us mean it the way we should.

We're living one big lie and I don't think we'll ever be able to stop. We've let it go on for so long that we'd ruin everything if we told the truth.

People say that the truth sets you free.

Those people have never been in this situation.

_The End_

AN: Don't forget to review!


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